Sixteen Little Things
by odestaonly
Summary: "A beach. The ocean. Sand. Turtles. A boat. Fish. Seaweed bread. Rope. Knots. Trident. Sunset. Fireflies. Summer breeze. Purple wildflowers. Pearls. Sunsets on the beach. Sunsets you watch with Annie. Annie. Annie. Annie." A look at what happens to Finnick when he is forced to visit the Capitol. -one shot-


I flinch awake. I can still feel the mugginess of the arena all over me. I hate hot nights in the Capitol it is always muggy and humid.

The swamp is what always comes to mind when the weather is like this. The swamp that was my arena. Filled with strange mutts that would come out at night. The swamp sounds are what I remember most. If we lived in a place with cicadas I think I would never go outside.

_Annie_.

I say and touch the arm that is wrapped around me.

I feel comfort until I see that the arm purple. Annie isn't the one holding me and this isn't my bed.

I feel slightly nauseous.

The arm doesn belong to Annie it is petite and small like hers but the comparison ends there. The woman I had 'fun' with last night is a deep purple color with lavender hair. Her nails are a shiny silver and if I remember correctly, so are her eyes. She truly looks like a cartoon character.

She's cuddling against me and holding me tightly.

I take her arm away carefully. I don't want to wake her up. She looks so innocent but what she likes in bed tells a different story.

I sit up and rub my forehead. The stupid drugs she liked to take before during and after sex were intense. It made the sex intense and everything around me. It wasn't a good intense either.

I stand up and stretch. All my joints hurt and I feel lightheaded.

She groans as I head to the bathroom.

I splash my face with water. The coldness helps with the remains of my nightmare.

When I see my reflection I look terrible.

I think Capitol citizens wear so much makeup to hide drug use. I've had my fair share and you can always tell the day after and can last for weeks after. It's why Annie is worried about me when I come back. I look ten times worse than before.

I groan again.

My eyes are sunken in and bloodshot. I have dark circles under that aren't from missing sleep. My eyes look almost black instead of green. The sheen of sweat and pounding in my head isn't making it any better.

I head back out to the bedroom. The girl is now awake and sitting up.

"Finnick I thought you left. I was so disappointed." She says and walks over to me. She kisses my neck.

"Stay for a little while longer." She says.

Show her a good time. That was what Snow told me this time. I know she is the daughter of some important politician. I don't know why he is bothering, if you are paying attention it's obvious he is on Snow's list. His list of people he wants dead. I haven't been here long but Snow's going through the motions; many public appearances, Snow personally investing in his career, Snow letting him attend important meetings at his mansion, and giving me to this girl.

People who have been around for awhile know Snow kills people who get in the way of his vision or he thinks are about to overthrow him. Most of the people he poisons isn't as obvious, but this one is. You wouldn't suspect the killer or accident to be someone who was putting so much interest in your life.

I'm sure Snow knows I figured this out. He isn't stupid but it's not like I'm going to blab to anyone even if I did, they wouldn't believe me.

Even though Snow's instructions were vague this girl made it easy by not hiding what she wanted. Some people want to go out on a date and then bring me back home. A lot of these people want to be seen in public with me. It's what helps my image of a lady killer. Pretending to enjoy a date with them is easy. Pretending to enjoy sleeping with them is different. Especially the ones with weird fetishes.

"You could take a shower with me." She says.

I look at the clock. It's almost noon and I'm supposed to get in the car that is sent to me which will take me to Snow's mansion.

"Well if you aren't going to shower we can just go back to bed." She says and takes my hand and drags me back to her bed.

I sigh and do what she wishes. I'm regretting not agreeing to take a shower with her instead.

* * *

"Mr. Odair, you look awful." One of the guards from the front gate says.

"Forget him Finnick, he's new." Demetrius, one of Snow's most trusted guards, says.

He's holding out a fresh outfit for me to wear so I can look more presentable for the President. Honestly, I doubt he cares what I look like. I just came here to get the next name or told to go home. He asks questions about 4 sometimes. He told me he would never lie to me unless I was honest with him. He doesn't ask a lot of questions so it's pretty easy to keep up my end. He lets me ask questions that he might answer. I asked him once what the arena would be and he told me the truth. I think he told me because he didn't like it, most Capitol citizens don't like snowy tundras.

"Follow me." Demetrius says as if I have a choice. He takes me to a room I've been in before. It's a simple room. This is the room where I am supposed to make myself look presentable. It looks like a small bedroom.

All I really have to do is shower and get dressed.

"Take a shower, you smell." Demetrius says and leaves the room, but not before I hear him locking me in.

I still look terrible after the shower. I can't get rid of the look of taking drugs. I couldn't even see the effects on the girl. Her purple skin was so dark... maybe that is why.

The shower did help the pounding in my head.

I open the medicine cabinet and see two pills of aspirin waiting for me. They don't give me enough so I will be able to overdose. They don't give me a razor or anything else that I could use to hurt myself. Honestly, if I was going to kill myself it wouldn't be in Snow's mansion.

I sit in the chair in the corner looking at all the leather bound books on the shelf. I don't think all of them have ever been opened. I could be in this room for days. The longest I think has been two. It's why I have one of those devices where food can magically appear.

I massage my temples. The pounding isn't going away. I hold my hands in my face and run my fingers through my hair.

The ticking noise of the clock on the wall seems louder than usual.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I start picking at the wood on the chair.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I close my eyes.

_A beach. The ocean. Sand. Turtles. A boat. Fish. Seaweed bread. Rope. Knots. Trident. Sunset. Fireflies. Summer breeze. Purple wildflowers... the ones that look good in Annie's hair._

_Don't think about her here._

_A beach. The ocean. Sand. Turtles. A boat. Fish. Seaweed bread. Rope. Knots. Trident. Sunset. Fireflies. Summer breeze. Purple wildflowers. Pearls. Sunsets on the beach. Sunsets you watch with Ann-_

_Don't think about her here._

_A beach. The ocean. Sand. Turtles. A boat. Fish. Seaweed bread. Rope. Knots. Trident. Sunset. Fireflies. Summer breeze. Purple wildflowers. Pearls. Sunsets on the beach. Sunsets you watch with Annie. Annie. Annie. Annie._

I open my eyes.

"Sixteen." I whisper. Sixteen things of home I thought of before my mind just zoned in on one thing. The thing I don't want to think about here. I can't think about Annie here. It makes everything too hard just thinking about the others.

When I'm with Annie it's easy. Her touch and the way she moves against me is so gentle. She's perfect and I love her so much. I wish I could give her everything she wanted. I wish I could just be with her and not the people I'm forced to see.

I'm surprised Annie finds me desirable at all. I'm used. I'm abused. I'm disgusting. I don't see why she or any other woman would find me desirable when they know what kind of person I am. I'm Finnick Odair the person who likes to bed woman and never see them again. Why would someone want that. I'm cursed with this beautiful face. I sometimes think if I was less attractive and played a different angle then sexy I wouldn't be here. If I was, I probably wouldn't feel this shitty.

I tried to deny my feelings for Annie for so long. I didn't want to pull her into this. I wanted to push her away but I just kept coming back. I couldn't get rid of her and even if I could, I didn't want to. She crept up and I couldn't stay away.

Even though I loved her I didn't want her to love me. I didn't want to share her with anyone else. Even though District 4 Finnick is different from Capitol Finnick it all mushes together in the end.

Annie has an easier time separating my two different personas better than myself. It's always a blurred line. The only thing that isn't blurred is how much I love her.

I hear the door unlock and look up.

"He's ready for you now." Demetrius says.

I nod and stand up and am guided down the halls of his mansion. I always wonder how big this place actually is. I've only seen that room, Snow's study, and once his rose garden. Those lovely white roses.

Someone opens the door to his study and I walk in.

Every single wall of his study is filled with books. I think the walls are just one big giant bookshelf. So many books, all leather bound and first editions. Some of them look like they are in different languages.

"Hello Mr. Odair." He says not looking up from his desk.

"President Snow." I say and sit in the chair across from his desk. I used to wait for him to tell me to sit down, but after so many years of this the formal nature sort of died. We aren't friends, but telling me when to speak or when to sit is over.

He is scribbling something and I just stare at him writing.

"How are you?" He asks not looking up at me.

"Fine." I say. He doesn't always do small talk. When he does it just feels awkward and unnecessary. I'd rather just cut to the chase.

"District 4?" He asks.

"The weather is getting questionable." I say.

"That's right monsoon season. I should make a note getting transportation out there will be harder." He says. It sounds like he is talking to himself.

He puts down his pen and finally looks up.

"You've seen better days Mr. Odair." He says.

_I must look like utter shit. _

Snow only comments on my appearance when I look terrible and unpresentable. If he was going to give me to someone else he will probably wait until I looked more attractive. It's why I've been gone for almost a month before. It was the only time I called Annie here.

"Well, I wanted to make sure the politician's daughter had a good time." I say. I hope I don't sound too much like a smart ass repeating the exact same words he said to me.

"Good, I'm glad." He says unamused. He's looking at me strangely. He cocks his head to the side."You can go home." He says. He sounds disappointed.

"What?" I ask. I don't like the tone of his voice and the way he is looking at me is odd.

"I wanted you to stay here for a banquet tomorrow, but." He looks me up and down. "I don't think so...now you can go home. I'll have a train for you within the hour.

I'm about to get up when his voice stops me.

"What did you do with that girl?" He asks.

"How much detail do you want?" I say confused. Does he want me to tell him everything I did with her since I opened her door? Everything I did to her sexually?

He has never asked this before.

"I meant what drugs did you take with her?"

"Small purple and orange pills they were probably illegal, three hits within two hours. They intensified everything, especially during sex." I say. I hope he can hear my annoyance.

I don't like his tone of voice and I'm not going to leave if I think he might kill someone.

"Don't hurt that girl." I say. I can tell he is thinking about it. I'm not pretty enough to see his other friends he already promised me to. Someone has to pay the price. He can't hurt me because I followed his orders, leaving only one person left.

"Mr. Odair always so easy on the up take." He says.

I want to roll my eyes.

"You have your tells just like everyone else. Just move up the time table to kill her Father." I say.

"And yet people think you are just a pretty face." He says.

"Don't hurt that girl." I say again. I'm not going to even bother with her Father, Snow already put the plan in motion to kill him.

"Fine, but because of this I will be seeing you again much sooner." He says.

I don't respond. I don't know what to say.

"The train won't wait forever Mr. Odair." He says. I can see that smile he has in his eyes like he is proud won this round.

* * *

"Finnick." Annie says as soon as I walk in the door.

She runs over to me and hugs me.

"Annie." I say and hug her.

She kisses me and cradles my face in her hands.

I expect her to tell me I look terrible like everyone else did, but because she's Annie she doesn't.

"You look tired." She says and kisses my cheek. "You should lie down. I can get you something to eat."

"Okay." I say and head upstairs.

She comes into the room holding a tray that we either use for breakfast in bed or when one of us is sick.

"Here we go." She says and adjusts the legs. "And don't worry I didn't make it, this is leftovers from yesterday. Mags came over and we had dinner together." She says. Annie isn't a good cook. She burns things easily and adds wrong ingredients. If she makes it, she will eat it no matter how messed up it is, but giving it to other people is a different story. I do all the cooking when I am here.

It's a pasta dish, there's also a small slice of salty seaweed bread, and a water bottle.

"I got it yesterday fresh from the bakery." She says. She must have noticed me staring at the bread, but it's not because it's fresh, it's because it's one of the things I thought about in the Capitol. "I also got you a surprise." She says.

"A surprise?" I ask.

She nods.

"I went to the firefly festival-"

"You went to the firefly festival." I say surprised. Annie doesn't like large crowds or doesn't even like going to these events with me.

The firefly festival is a summer festival. It plays on romance, but it really is just a gimmick to sell things. The bakery's can make special pastries, breads, and cakes. The jewelers can make seasonal jewelry. The food stores usually have a sale. It's one of the rare times my family ate something besides fish.

_It's something else I can add to the list of things to think about while in the Capitol._

"Yeah I had to, to get your surprise." She says.

"You got me candy." I say. There is a shop that sells candies that taste amazing, but you can only get them during the firefly festival.

"Yup." She says and takes a piece of my bread.

"Did you go by yourself?" I ask.

"I met up with my brother." She says.

I kiss her forehead.

"Thank you for going." I say. I know it wasn't easy for her.

"You go on and on about those candies all year. I had to get them for you."

I smile.

"Don't cry Finnick." She whispers and wipes a tear away. I didn't realize I was crying. "It's just a box of candy." She says.

"No, it's not. It was probably hard for you to go there and you could've just asked someone to get it for you, but you did it because you wanted to."

She smiles sadly and kisses my cheek.

"It was real bad this time." She says softly.

"I don't know." I say. Worse things have happened to me there than this last visit. I wasn't even gone that long.

She kisses my forehead.

"Well, you're home now." She says.

Annie never asks what happens when I go there. I know she wants to, but she knows I don't want to talk about it, want to relive it. She knows if I want to talk about it I will. When I do it usually ends up with me crying.

She runs her hand over my cheek.

"Are you done?" She asks and looks down at the tray.

"Yeah." I say.

"You should go to sleep then." She kisses my cheek.

"Annie." I say.

"Yeah?" She asks with a smile and turns around.

"Can you stay with me?" I ask.

She smiles that warm smile I love. It's soft and inviting.

She leans down and kisses my forehead.

"Always." She leaves to take the dishes down.

When she comes back she is holding the box of candies.

"I thought you might want one." She smiles and opens the box.

They're decorated like fireflies.

"So good." I whisper when I eat one.

She kisses me and snuggles next to me. I hold her close and she runs her fingers through my hair. Annie comforting me is the best thing I need right now.

"You're safe here Finnick. You're here with me. You're home." She kisses the top of my head.

I close my eyes and breath deeply. Annie smells like seasalt and purple wildflowers. I breathe her sent deeply and hold her close.

"I love you Finnick." She whispers in her soft calming voice.

I can feel my eyes get heavy. I had trouble sleeping in the Capitol and on the train, but falling asleep in her arms is so effortless, so right that my eyes close quickly into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
